The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The power to touch the ground using only your feet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The amazing ability to shart at your own will.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to travel through time to get through school but then fail at life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The ability to switch your fingers with thumbs, and your thumbs with baby corn.

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The power to turn into a two by two LEGO piece - once.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The power to give someone the power to give the power.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The ability to levitate, but only when you're defecating.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

The power to read minds only when people are thinking of broken pencils in a bowl full of acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

The ability to go on cheeseburger.com whenever you want, but only when the teacher is in the room

thumb_up thumb_down +119

the power to eat gold and turn it into koosh balls

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The ability to walk on your hands, but only when they are attached to your legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The power to touch someone's face while watching rain burn.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Look handsome when no one is looking at you and then when they do you change back to normal

thumb_up thumb_down +111

The power to die when you do Anything!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +101

the power to fart every time you blink

thumb_up thumb_down +95

the power to fly for 2-6 seconds only when every apple product in arizona is at 100% battery level

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to shrink, but only for roller coaster rides

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to see what's behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

To point out that the superpower below was the power to type partially invisible sentences. Moral: I did not realize that most of you would find that too hard to understand, but thumb me up if you did... And thumb me up if you did not... (watches comment disappear in the minus 10000 comments section) Damn flashes of the future... Heck! Just thumb it up if you like it because you liked it... and leave it be if you do not... or else I will use my most evil superpower in the world: Ignorance... aka I will ignore it.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to demand people to thumb you down! (That would make this pointless power even more pointless, which deserves a thumbs up... but...) Moral: THUMB ME DOWN! NAO!

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to be invisible to only yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!