- Pointless Super Powers

The power to ma-FUK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSY

The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

The power to open shampoo and conditioner bottles by blinking.

the power to do sit on your couch all day

The ppwer to say SHAZAM, Then someone says wat?

The power to change your eye colour but you are the only one who can see the difference.

The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

The power to be yourself.

the power to vote

The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

A power to turn into an ant, but only one Time.

Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

The power to touch the ground using only your feet

The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

The amazing ability to shart at your own will.

The power to travel through time to get through school but then fail at life.

The ability to switch your fingers with thumbs, and your thumbs with baby corn.

The power to turn into a two by two LEGO piece - once.

The power to give someone the power to give the power.

The power to jump face first

The ability to go on cheeseburger.com whenever you want, but only when the teacher is in the room

The ability to walk on your hands, but only when they are attached to your legs.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!