The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power to be bullet proof (only works on bullets are thrown at you and not fired from a gun)

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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the power to shit bricks

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The power to issue commands to domesticated house cats. Not the power to make them obey your commands, just the power to issue the commands.

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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The ability to become shit forever.

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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the power to make ur fingernails fall and the go into a coma when someone says hello.

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The power to read but only when your using audio read.

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To seek and destroy edward cullen! lol not kinda useless tho xD

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The power to not lie wall you activate"I Agree To TheTerms Of Sevice"

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Power to see through walls, but it only works with glass.

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The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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the ability to lick your own anus

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The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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1.The power to run super fast but you have no legs. 2. The power to turn into a girl but you cannot change back like ever.

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mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

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The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

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The power of micro penis.

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The power to travel in time but only to the moment of your death.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!