The power to look really cool when sitting in a chair when nobody's looking at you

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to teleport 1 inch but you can only do that once a week and it waists your energy for the entire week.

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the power to sneeze cum

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The power to write sentences without periods Get it? A POINTLESS super power? LAWL

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The power to see out of the back of your head but never the front

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The power to not move but your always happy.

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

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The ability to not fart, but only while you are alone

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the power to be able to blow air

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The power to walk through floors and fall through walls

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The ability to get out of bed in a Monday morning even though you don't want to

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne.

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The ability to steal, without getting caught, other people's pocket lint.

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The ability to read Captch codes perfectly but not being able to type them correctly

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The ability to ruin ipods by simply listening to a song

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The power to cry whole bananas grown in Brazil.

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the power to get in the van

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The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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Writing "because moral man loves you" Moral: I am far too antisocial to love everyone, I mean the more love for me the better... so I can give a lot to my girlfriend too... love you baby! (my girlfriend duh) Moral 2: Someday ill tell her that I type this comments, and if you thumb this up, she will find out I declared my love here too... aww... love the man that does not love you... for love! Me: Huh? My head is spinning... and if yours is too, then thumb this comment up.

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The power to jump faster.

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The power to vote for Osama Bin Laden for president. Moral: And to believe it could still be worse...

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The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!