The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

The power to turn into Donald Trump hair

The power to sh*t bricks

The power to stop your self from moving for all eternity

eht rewop ot daer sdrowkcab.

The power to nail anyone you want (legally) but no one remembers, including you

The power to know what something looks like, bu only if you have seen it before

The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

the power to speak chinese to indians and indians only

The power to ask sarah jessica parker, "why the long face?"

The ability to pass gas and have it smell like coffee from Starbucks.

The power to fly, but only when you're on a plane

The power to age 2% faster every time you see the color purple.

The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

The power to grow one wing

the ability to grow your nails at will.

The power to mind reeds

The power to push a door that only pulls.

The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

the power to be really itchy.

The power to make infinite paper clips.

The power to look really cool when sitting in a chair when nobody's looking at you

The power to teleport 1 inch but you can only do that once a week and it waists your energy for the entire week.

The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!