The power to be a human

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The power of flight but only when you're within three feet of another person.

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The power to remove the power within.

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The power for everyone to believe you, but only if you are telling the truth.

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The power to microwave bread

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The power to get massive boners when you are reading a presentation.

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The power to see events happen 0.04 seconds AFTER they occur

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The power to sleep with your eyes open but you still can't see what's going on

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The power to see through the clothes of only the morbidly obese.

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the power... to read this

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The power to die at will.

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The power to thumb down Moral Man's posts. NOTE: It is required that the user of this ability possess average to above-average intellect. Seriously, bury this dickbag's posts. He's an annoying twat.

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Having the ability to get Bulimia by looking at yourself in the mirror.

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the power to be really itchy.

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The power of singing piano playing and color blindness. Moral: "The skies are orange! Blue Roses too"

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The power to see through pastry..

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The power to triple-click in the time it takes a regular human to double-click.

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the power to fly for 2-6 seconds only when every apple product in arizona is at 100% battery level

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The power to jump and fly for 1 second.

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The power to piss with REALLY high force.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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the power to frow up when your not sick.

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the ability to not have to sleep as long as your procrastinating how ever if you dont sleep after 24 hours you will die if you try do anything productive thus you must procrastinate for the rest of your life

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The power to kill yourself to take out a criminal... except for the fact that when you kill yourself you literally might as well be throwing a marshmallow at someone.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!