The power to see John Cena.

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The ability to go 100% slower

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The power to fly, but you have to wee every 5 seconds.

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The power to not have this superpower

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The power to triple-click in the time it takes a regular human to double-click.

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The power to block every twenty third bullet, shot at point blank range.

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The ability to obtain a date with any girl you want, but only if you are gay.

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The power to order stuff online with your dad's credit card

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The power to telekinetically pick your nose and eat it.

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The power to have all your friends leave you

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The power to become annoyed by annoying people

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The ability to rape the willing.

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mint berry crunch

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the power to change the size of your thumb when ever you want

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the ability to cure anyone but only if you apply their injury to yourself

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The power to see as Stevie Wonder

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The power to only be able to mind control goldfish one at a time

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Expert level knowledge of the Kardashian lore

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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The power of intermittent hand seizures, at the most unfortunate of times.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!