The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

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The power to poop and pee at the same time

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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the ability to time travel 5 minutes into the past this power recharges every 5 minutes

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The power to make terrible puns and drink ketchup non-stop, otherwise known as being Sans.

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captain obvious

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the power to ejaculate lava.

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The power to change the shape of any object at will

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The power of x-ray vision only when you are naked in public. More people the stronger it is.

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The power to correct spelling mistakes on road signs

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The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The power to dance really well

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The power to sweat an ordorless, but flammable liquid.

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The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

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The power to give a **** about bigfoot

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The power to turn any plasma tv into ice with 3 times the mass

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The power to make any girl hate you

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to accidentally stumble upon huge, life-changing GoT spoilers on the internet

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The power to jump 1/3 of an inch higher than you would normally jump.

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The power to become inverted background color.

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THE POWER TO KNOW WHEN YOUR CAPS LOCK IS ON

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!