The power to see things with your eyes open

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To connect to the Playstation network with your mind! Who would want to?

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the power to read impossibly fast, but only when you're watching a movie with no subtitles

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The power to be able to be a guy who can create and control fire but if it touches you, you still burn

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The power to stop people from committing suicide just before they do, but only by killing them...

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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the power to see the future...but only the future of a crappy 5 houses town in the middle of nowhere..

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the power to be as dumb as george bush and as useless as barrak obama

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The ability to have a xredit card with no limit but not know the pin

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The power to make grey spots appear on the wall, but only when u are peeing

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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The ability to be able to transform into a spork.

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The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

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Ability to not lose excuses when declining a date.

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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The power to fly only when you're already in an airplane.

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the ability to time travel 5 minutes into the past this power recharges every 5 minutes

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the power to smell the insisde of your own nose

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The power to exude spaghetti from your pockets, which is never stopped. The spaghetti keeps coming. Out of your pockets. Spaghetti everywhere.

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captain obvious

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The power to see in only one random color everyday.

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The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

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The power to WATCH ME WHIP AND WATCH ME NAE NAE

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!