The ability to not fart, but only while you are alone

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The ability to teleport into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Move things with your mind but only if you are holding them and you can't let go

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to become me. Moral: You could not handle the awesomeness and would ruin yourself just so you can feel "normal" rather than awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The power to have tacos appear in front of you, only to have them stolen by a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The power to have a very keen sense of smell 24/7 but only when a fart is present

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the power die if you think.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The power of attracting lightning to your body, but not being imune to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

the power of the Anti-petter gun, which fires bullshit over the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The ability to see the world from a rock's perspective. Everywhere there is a rock you see what is around it. But rocks don't have eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

thumb_up thumb_down -38

the power to be unable to have a power.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

The power to create a clean and temporary bathroom only you can use when you don't have to use one

thumb_up thumb_down -62

The ability to teleport into high security prisons but you cant teleport out

thumb_up thumb_down -86

the power to turn gold into cottage cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -88

The power to be able to see through clothes, but only men over the age of 65.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to make coins appear behind people's ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to sleep but only when its past midnight

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The power of bullet attraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

The ability to speak all languages ever recorded in history, but cannot speak without using at least 10 of them simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

The power to see through windows

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The power to always smell like cheep wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!