The power to compare anything to porn because "you know it when you see it."

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The ability to talk to bacteria

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Shit bricks I love itttttt

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The power to melt plastic by standing perfectly still for a month.

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The power to instantly reduce the sales price of an item to ten percent of the original but you must buy at least ten.

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The power to make it inconveniently drizzle when crime is happening

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the power to consume yourself and use it as food (dosn't remove pain and will cause medical condisions)

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The power to die and come back to life every 10 minutes.

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The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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The power to grow a money tree once every 5 years that grows 1 penny every 10 years.

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The power to put your pants on, two legs at a time.

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The ability to make children cry whenever they see you.

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the power to sit down BUT you have to sit down for ever

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Really bendy thumbs.

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The power to turn in to a weak 1 year old

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The power to poop without wiping

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The ability to open a door that was already open.

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the power to talk to people off long distances,but only with communicational devices.

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

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The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!