The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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the power of anything you do makes you high and drunk

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The power to make water expire.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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being black

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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The power to "smell what the Rock is cooking"

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The power to give people an inexplicable hatred for you.

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to look TV

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the power to summon a massive midget

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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The power to not remember, the only problem, is that you don't remember having this awesome power.

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The power to poop almost instantly, but you always have the runs.

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

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power to drop the soap in the jail shower room

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The power to be Rosie O'Donnell.

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to know all the answers in the test when the test is over

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!