- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to break bones at will.

The abilty to give yourself 0 subscribers on youtube.

The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

The power to eat three times a day.

The power to survive underwater, while holding your breath.

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

The power to obey gravity

The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

The power to be powerless

The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

the power to sneeze whenever you want

the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

The power to think of your death and then you die.

The power to lower your own ego.

the power to stop masturbating every day

the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

The power to look at Sun.

the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

The power to suck your own dick but not when your horny

Pointless Super Powers