The power to disappear only when you're about to have sex.

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The power to breath fire but only when covered in gasoline/petrolium

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the power to yell a math problem at will

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The ability to think the thought you thought of is the same thought as another persons thought while thinking of that thought.

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The power to be oppressed by everything

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the power to ejaculate lava.

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The power to convert metric to imperial

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The power to make high definition photo a hammer (with a red comfortable heated handle with LED flashing lights) appear out of thin air. (Oh, and on a 8"x11" piece of paper of course).

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the power to shoot knifes from ur pen*s hole.(ouch)

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The ability to be completely bullet-proof as long as a bullet never hits you.

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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The power to have incredible upper-body strength, but not have arms or legs.

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The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

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the power to hurl apples at force but only when you have drunk 20 litres of water in one go

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to regenerate limbs, but twenty years after you've lost it.

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The power to sleep with your eyes open.

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The power to remove seeds from seedless grapes but only on the 4th of may on a sunday

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The power to automatically blink rapidly at the rate of 1,588 times per second everytime you open your mouth.

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The power to time travel to the end of the world.

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The ability to get up from the couch.

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75% levitation

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!