you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

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To be able to cut paper by doing the scissor action with your fingers.

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The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

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The power to find spare change in the sofa

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The power to make grass grow 1cm longer than usual.

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The power of superman while never being able to leave Krypton.

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the power to burn your school down from napalm farts.

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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the power to create a meme

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The power to read the mind of a cow that has produced a piece of cheese that has traveled 447,800 miles but only when looking at that piece of cheese

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the power to time travel to the present

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The superpower to die in a 1 second.

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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To be able to make a pencil dull... Get it it point less!!!!!

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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the power to fire my lazer

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the power to put paper to your nose and blow strange liqeud type substance into it.

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The ability to fly for 14 seconds every decade.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!