The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

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The power to pee while standing up

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The Power to float on water, except when you're wet..

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thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

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The power to fly while masturbating.

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The ability to get up from the couch.

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The ability to like this post

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the power to to deep fry anything deep fried

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The power to shrink boobs

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The power to quote memes randomly

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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The power to see women naked, but only when they're your friend's mom.

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the power to sing like an angel... but only if the song is "friday" or "baby"

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The ability to teleport a maximum of two inches.

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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The power to bend time and space in a way that would do nothing.

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The ability to control the universe everytime you lick your own elbow!

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The ability to become sexually attractive to Killer Whales

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Power to instantly turn drunk

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!