The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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The power to read the mind of a cow that has produced a piece of cheese that has traveled 447,800 miles but only when looking at that piece of cheese

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the power to create a meme

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Strength to instantly kill anyone just by lightly tapping them, as long as they're physically stronger than you.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The power to grant underwater breathing to Mosquitos.

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The power that when you sit down you fall through the seat

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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The power of tasting irresistibly delishush whenever anyone gets hungry.

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the power to fire my lazer

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The power to be invisible to everything but security cameras.

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the power to see everyone as a tree

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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the power to put paper to your nose and blow strange liqeud type substance into it.

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the power to turn into a tree

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The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

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The abilty to change what your hair smells like every two years

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the power to smell like ham

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Each time to show up on daily live TV each time you are masturbating.

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The power to shape-shift only into a human

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!