Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The ability to jump

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

The power to smell a fart upwind.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

the power to fail at life

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The power to create another human

thumb_up thumb_down +37

the power to disinfect wigs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The power to be skillful at everything but only while asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

The power to like the fact that someone liked my status.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

The power to, receive THE POWER! What is this power you may ask... it is the power of TRUE POWER!

thumb_up thumb_down +130

The ability to use the "wait" function from skyrim/fallout in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The power to be the best driver in the world, when not moving.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

To be able to estimate time between 5:00am and 5:07am

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to misspell when tyring to spell qukcily

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to hear what is happening to objects (such as a bed).

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to reed a platypus mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The ability to talk to parrots and have them talk back to you

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to turn your pants into underwear, but only when you're wearing them.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!