Have all the superpowers there is in one milisecond every 100 years (If your still alive)

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The ability to tell what a tire tastes like from 6 inches away.

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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The power to have amazing sexual prowess for 24 straight hours, but only on days that you have to work overtime. This is actually true.

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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The power to whenever your punched you cry a lot of asid that burns your flesh

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The power to turn a boomerang into a doggy toy

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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The power to read this.

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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The power to every two months to shoot three cotton balls at no great velocity from your left hand.

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The power to suck your own dick

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The power to tell people that you have been "gifted" with a pointless superpower.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!