The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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the power to kiss your own ass

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The power to have incredible wet orgasms. if you are a man.

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the power to play a flute to summon a black leprechaun but only when your on the verge of passing out

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the ability to predict the winning lottery numbers in a completely random order

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The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

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The ability to replace your DNA with parmesan cheese.

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The power to telepathically fold paper.

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The power to drink parfume and not get disgusted

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The ability to write a pointless superpower, which was posted earlier without having read it.

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To write a pointless power on paper to use.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to die when you get scared.

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The Power of being able to do anything but does not work when you need it

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the ability to fart out of your nose

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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the power to do sit on your couch all day

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!