The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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The power to have explosive diarrhea involuntarily but only on dinners with your date and his/her parents.

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The power to be the best video game player ever but you have squeakers follow you everywhere calling you a hacker and saying there going to report you

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The power to become allmighty and imortal, all you need to do is to touch either Kryptonite, or adamantium.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The have weak x-ray vision, while only seeing lead.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to regenerate, but only small cuts

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The power to own Greek, Italian and Irish stocks.

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The power to speak any language, but only the ones that aren't spoken in the country that you are in.

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All of aquaman's powers.

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The power to make yourself deaf.

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The power to have tastebuds inside your ass.

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The power to enter a car, but only if the car is out of gas.

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The power to die using only your mind.

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The power to spell 'a' correctly

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The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

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the power to allow dumbass powers to be written on this site

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The power to scare female plants.

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The power throw up hockey pucks every few minutes.

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The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!