The power to know when an item of food has been cooked to perfection, 38 seconds after it has caught fire.

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The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to shoot pencils out of your mouth every 10 seconds

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The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

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The ability to summon CHUCK NORRIS, but only while naked.

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The ability to enter a coma but not be able to control for how long

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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The power to piss out of your ass and shit through your dick

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the power to read and agree with the terms of service

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The power to control time, space and rule the universe... But only when you are dreaming.

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the ability to have children fully grown

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the power to say i can bend you

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The ability to see the inside of your eyelids.

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The power to slam revolving doors.

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the power to make the vagina taste like pizza (p u s s y flavored)

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The Power to Combust

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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The power to transform into yourself

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the ability to fail lie detector tests.... consistently.

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The power to write any thing on your chest with clear paint

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The power to breath while under a container of water

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Having the ability to drink bleach and not die. You only get really sick.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!