The power to shut the fuck up.

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The power to fight fire with fire and create more fire.

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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The power to turn into a piece of paper for five seconds

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The power to always smell like cheep wine.

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The power to shoot flames from your hands, only its not really warm.

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The ability to make someone love you but only if they are heavier than 300kg

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The power to read bladders. You would always know when someone has to pee.

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The power of minding your own business

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THE POWER TO PREDICT THE PAST

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?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

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The power to become inverted background color.

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The power to look through really thin glas without any view obstruction.

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The power to die when u drink bleach

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The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

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the power to see through water.

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The ability to fly but only if you're on the ground

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to see concrete yellow

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The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

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The power to break your Nokia phone.

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The ability to say YOLO without getting shot.

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the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!