The power to only be physically attractive to blind people.

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the power to... SHUT THE F*CK UP

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the power to commit crime.

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The power to fly but only when you are in a winged aircraft.

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The Power to Die instantly.

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Q: What is 1+1? A: An equation.... Duh...

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The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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The ability to transform escalators into stairs.

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The power to throw your crotch as a powerful one time grenade.

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The power to become sexualy attracted to everyone but the person your talking with

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The power to create a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that does nothing.

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The power to fly but only if you standing on the ground

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Oye sun teri ma ka saki na ka

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The power to die when u drink bleach

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The ability to sense any and all ham in a five mile radius.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to turn any plasma tv into ice with 3 times the mass

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THE POWER TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS

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The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

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to travel in time....2 minutes in the past exactly after..masturbation.... masturbation-time-loop...........

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The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

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to drink alot of alcohol and not get drunk

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The power to become an extremely attractive straight man in only the presence of 83 year old homosexual men

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The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!