The power to resist the Facebook status forces.

the power to randomly sprout a paper clip once a month

The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

The power to communicate with earthworms.

Guys, it's over.

the power to convert farts into burps.

Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

The power to predict yesterday's weather

the ability to die at will, just by blinking

The power to drink poison and survive 6 hours longer than any other person

The power to be the most attractive person ever but only in complete darkness.

the power to make elton john gay

the power to transform into biggie smalls after he just died

the power to become friends with your least favorite teacher on facebook.

power to type using my head.. .because my fingers are there

The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

The power to have a hot mom and sister that constantly train you sexually so you can satisfy any woman. (useless my ass)

The power to be a normal person

The power to talk to your socks but only when they're dying...

The power to have orgasm everytime a cold breeze rolls in

The ability to move your own internal organs, causing extruciating pain

the power to orgasm more than once in one round of sex. the thing is, after the 4th time, it gets slightly uncomfortable.

the ability to not get pregnant when you get raped

The power to sleep through a dream.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!