The power to form a Belgian government

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The power to paint as if you were michelangelo but only if your painting sad clowns eating knives

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The power to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide.

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the power to read the thoughts of inanimate objects.

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The ability to turn into Jeff the Magic Cactus Baby, for a second, while you are sleeping.

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The power to cook bad meals.

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The ability to read anything, and never understand it.

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The power to cure cancer pantients of minor rashes.

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The power to communicate with earthworms.

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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The power to kiss my mom' s ass from long distances

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The power to drink poison and survive 6 hours longer than any other person

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The power to fall from any height and stop in midair right before you hit the ground, then continue falling with 100x the velocity from before you stopped.

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The power to add a minus to your bank account balance.

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The power to make any girl attracted to you. Unless the girl is anywhere above a 7 on the hot scale

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the power of spontaneous combustion but only when you get an erection

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the ability to turn a banana into an apple at will, but only for a few seconds.

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The ability to hand in assignments 1 day late

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the ability to not get pregnant when you get raped

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The ability to never pick up on sarcasm.

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

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The ability yo smell your own breath, but only when you have a stuffy nose.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!