The power to time travel to the present moment

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The power to run through walls, but you have to be running at full speed.... and it only works 50% of the time.

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The power to be meta, but nobody thinks it's cool any more.

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The power to sit anywhere

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The power to differentiate between captal 'i's and lower case 'l's.

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the ability to throw a midget further than any mortal man

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The power to watch grass grow

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The power to tell if a politician is lying. (They always are.)

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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The power to fly, but only when you're in water

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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The power to shrink by 23 centimetres every time you sneeze

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The power to go back in time and kill Hitlerr, only after you've had sex with him though

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The power to ma-FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!!!!!

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The powerto become horny at will, but nothing can be done about it.

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The power to teleport someone into the nearest restroom after they've touched your thighs.

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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Ultra-strength when peeing

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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The power to seduce anyone you do not want.

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The power to make me a sandwich without first being instructed.

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The ability to make broken pens work again.

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The power to get a boner any time you want

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!