the ability to throw a midget further than any mortal man

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The power to teleport someone into the nearest restroom after they've touched your thighs.

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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Ultra-strength when peeing

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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The power to get a boner any time you want

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The power to have courage to tell hitler that you are jew

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The ability to Hi

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the power to be tall only if your Yao Ming

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The power to make me a sandwich without first being instructed.

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The power to levitate only down stairs

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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The power to deliver gifts around the world in one night but be fatter than hell, live in a frozen wasteland, and only little kids think you exist

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Thhe ability to cry acid

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The power to become the best racer in NASCAR, but only being able to turn right.

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The power to fly, but only on the moon

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The ability to make broken pens work again.

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The power live 0.0000001 seconds longer.

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the power to fly but only on a plane

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The power to live without water but you're trapped at sea

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The power to slash hot c u m on a girls big t I t s

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!