The ability to shoot blueberry muffins from my fingertips.

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The power to make people laugh telling german jokes.

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The power to cut onion without crying.

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The power to read Chuck-E-Cheese's mind.

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the power to sizzle like bacon

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Laser pointer vision.

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The power to remove the pubic hair of career politicians during their first stump speech of a campaign and return it to them during their concession or acceptance speech.

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The power to have no powers

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The ability to imitate a tadpole.

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The power to grammar.

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The power to wake up 5 minutes earlier.

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The power to start laughing uncontrollably when someone says the word "ferret"

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LIME

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The power to transform you in something randomly

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Chinchilla whispering abilities

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ur mother so ugly she gave the devil a heart attack

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The Power to Heat Food with your Mind, only when it's in a microwave.

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The power to tell whether or not butter is salted or not.

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The power to realize that the "newest" section of both pointless superpowers and anti-jokes is the same.

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The power to cure cancer, but cause death by radiation poisoning.

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The power to hypnotize aliens.

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Retractable teeth

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To stab Djones

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The power to have super strength, but only when your sleeping.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!