power to transform into a dick with legs

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to believe Jehova's witnesses.

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The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

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The ability to be in fashion.

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the power to know when a politician is lying

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The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

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The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The ability to see through womens clothes....but only if they weigh over 300 pounds.

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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teleport to the place where you stand

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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the power to burp every time you drink 1 litre of soda/fizzy

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The power to obey gravity

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The power to predict the present

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power to sing wonderfully but at a pitch only dogs can hear

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The power to go super sonic speed as long as you are tripping

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!