the power to emit air through your mouth and nose.....

thumb_up thumb_down +96

the power to stop masturbating every day

thumb_up thumb_down +92

the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to make your nipples hurt when you twist them

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

the power to hate Raymond, and like Chris.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to make any woman sleep with you. but works only on dead ones.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to ejaculate needles.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

the power to run in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The power to only see things that are a shade of orange if the date adds up to a divisor of Pi x enough to make it a whole number, if you are wearing a hat and have recently expeled bodily fluid

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power to live forever but only in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The ability to grow your hair at an ever so slightly extended rate!

thumb_up thumb_down

Being able to poop your pants at will with no control over it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The power to never have fun...never.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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The power to grow a money tree once every 5 years that grows 1 penny every 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

The power to freeze at the school's front door when its home time.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

The power to not be moral man. Moral: Your thumbs down cant hurt me! Are you a fucking ass? IM THE MORAL MAN BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

The power to turn in to a weak 1 year old

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

The power to be Obama when he's not president anymore

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The power to be well feed for a day, after you eat. Dinner

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!