the power to turn into a tree

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to see through clear glass.

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the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

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The power to never have fun...never.

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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The power to eat peas as a vegetarian

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The power to have any power when they are completely pointless to have.

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The power to be invisible only when you're not in anybody's line of sight.

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The power to jump 100 feet in the air and have bones made of glass.

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

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The power to make a white paper green but only with a colored pencil

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The power to think this exact sentence at the worst possible time.

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The power to kill anyone with your mind, In your imagination.

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The power to like Justin Bieber

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The power to Shape shift into Bread. No consciousness of any kind, just bread, unable to change back.

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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Tah Puwir tu wright currectili

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The power to breathe slightly faster

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The power to fly as long as your feet the ground

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!