the power to sing like a pro but only when in a bathroom or when autotune is involved...

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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the power to get fat in America

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The ability to read your own mind

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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The power to live forever until you die a natural way or get killed.

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The power to change the color of your arm hair.

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The power to laugh at other people when they get hurt, and still be able to have high esteem in front of all your friends.

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the power to sing amazingly but only when someone is 158,00000000000 times louder

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The power to generate electricity, unfortunately, you're not resistant to it.

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The ability to listen to music anywhere at anytime, but only if it's from the Jonas Brothers.

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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The power to nag at the speed of light before he even thinks about doing it you can literally nag him to death faster then the rapper twister can say his own name!!!

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The power to cum out of your finger tips

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The power to shit bricks, uncontrollably.

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The power of being invincible, except when a life-threatening situation develops.

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The power to jump over mountains but die when you hit the ground.

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The ability to fool other drivers on the road into thinking that you are a car-sized mouse.

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The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

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The power to urinate in any color- even rainbow color!

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The power to poo without wiping.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!