Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to eat a ridiculous amount sandwiches without getting full

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The power to not see anything

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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the power to see through clear glass.

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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the power not eat more than one pringel.

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The power to have no power

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The power to accidently find all spoilers online before you watch a film or an episode of a series.

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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The power to erect your nipples at will.

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The power to turn all people into giant robots which you don't control

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The power to turn in to a weak 1 year old

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

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To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to fart in public AT WILL..

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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the power to suck at absolutly everything you do, except at failing.

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the power to become demented

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!