Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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Which superpower would you rather have? 1. The ability to fly 2. Invisibility 3.The ability to make people climax sexually with your mind

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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Justin Bieber

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

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The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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the power to pee while brushing your teeth

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the power to smell like ham

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to think your dreams are real.

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The ability to know who is calling without looking at caller ID

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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The power to shape-shift only into a human

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The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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the power to be a snail when ever you think a bout snails but you CANT transform back

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!