Infinite knowledge when dead

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The power to create mysterious stains on your clothes.

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The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

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The power to be special just like everyone else.

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To Turn Thin To Macho but only in left arm

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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the power to jizz money

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The power to create a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that does nothing.

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Super strength that works for a millisecond.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power to make anything money related to disappear.

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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the power to shoot what your looking at but only when your looking at watermelons

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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the power to freeze people only when it's cold

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The Power to Power

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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power to breathe in water but when you get in to water you gonna die in 30 seconds

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The power to die

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!