No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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The power to flap your arms uncontrollably every time a hot girl walks past you.

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The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

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The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

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The power to think this exact sentence at the worst possible time.

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the power to do nothing

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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The power to change colors to the excact same as before.

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the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

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The power to give this suggestion a thubs up rating.

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The power to enhance your enemy's strength

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To be able to generate cancer at will

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The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

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The power to make anyone you see look surprise.

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The power to forget everything u learned during a test.

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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An extra set of eyes...in your scrotum

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to vomit every time you burp.

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Be virtually indestructible, but only to things your not paying attention too.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!