The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

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The ability to become sexually attractive to Killer Whales

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Ability to eat a burger without going to the mall first and talking to your grandma there for 45 minutes about how it hasn't rained for a quite awhile and we could sure use some!!!

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The power to kill yourself just by thinking about something.

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The power of telling the name of ANY song/music ever made by just listening the first three seconds of it.

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The power to fry and suffer harder than anyone when lit on fire.

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the ability to be a super genius but can't speak or write

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to hear a "SSSSSSSS" sound, then be blown up.

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The ability to control dairy products

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being black

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to make your bowel work backwards

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the power to fail at everything you do

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the power to animate condiments

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The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

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the power to pay 1 cent less then what items in the store cost

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The power to hear in the dark.

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The power to read this.

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!