The power to absolutely nothing

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the power to turn food into shit

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The ability to jump

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The Power To Make Justin Bieber.

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The ability to make any amount of money appear in your wallet. The money is in the form of the Neptunarian Dollar, which has no value anywhere on Earth.

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shit and piss at the same time

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the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

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Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

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The power to die.

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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The power to think of powers someone else has already come up with

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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The ability to play black ops anytime you want

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The power of the most useless power and have that power.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The power to control karma. Moral: Karma is a BlTCH! MY BlTCH!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!