The power to smell feces from a mile away.

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The power to do anything that will not affect anyone but you in any way.

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The power to not care.

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The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

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The power to change any of your friend's name to Tom but only if their real name is Thomas.

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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The power to plank

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The power to get a song stuck in someone's head.

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The amazing ability to shoot any liquid substance out of your eyes, with a requirement being you must douse your eyes with the substance beforehand.

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to fold paper seven times

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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lol

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

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The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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The power to make grass grow 1cm longer than usual.

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The power to tolerate Justin Bieber.

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the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

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to have the power to dig a hole 2 milimeters deep in a century

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!