the power to send text messages while driving

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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The power to type any password only if some one tells you the password first.

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The power to transform into a green extremely skinny and weak guy when you get angry.

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The ability to innoculate against all non-existent diseases

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Being able to fly in place.

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The power to do anything that will not affect anyone but you in any way.

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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The power to display emotions at will

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Acid tears.

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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the power to jizz money

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The power to run at the average speed of a normal person running.

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The power to date women if they say 'Yes' when you ask if they want to date.

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The power to always know the exact time.

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The power to see through things but you can't turn it off once turned on.

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to enter the dreams of people who regularly have night terrors

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the power to freeze people only when it's cold

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The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!