The power to give your grandma amazing orgasms.

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A parapalegic with super strength! Oh and with lockjaw, and addicted to Botox.

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The power to grow your nails longer

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The power to eat nandos

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The power to shoot spaghetti out of your finger tips.

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The power to teleport to the exact location there is a terrorist atack

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the ability to smell sounds

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to become white by going into midtown harlem at night and shouting: I HATE NEGROES!!! At the top of your lungs.

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The power to die at will, and you can only do it once.

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The power to secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes every time you secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes.

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the power to be in minecraft but as a pig near someones house

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The power to freeze ice

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The abilty to go through water.

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The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

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the power to be invisible when sleep.

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The ability to teleport but you poop your pants whenever you do it even if your not wearing pants

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pornstar after dying.

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the power to have the remote come to you.

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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The power of learning

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!