the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

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The power to spell 'a' correctly

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The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to scare female plants.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to never need to eat, unless you are hungry.

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The power to find pokemon attractive

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power to make all girls look pretty but only in your head and only if you drunk enough.

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The power to fart out of your hands.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to shit without squinting.

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the power to undress yourself at a slower rate then others

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the power to go slower than a snail :l

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The ability to perfectly walk backwards but only when you are sat down.

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The power to have magnetic eyeballs.

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Having the power to stand still

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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the power to fly while under water

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the ability to run as fast as you want but never be able to slow down...

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The ability to listen to music anywhere at anytime, but only if it's from the Jonas Brothers.

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The power to skid against the ground at 45 mph

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understanding every language only if you get insulted

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!