X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

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The ability to turn cement into pudding

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the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to have your right hand permanently glued to your face.

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The power to rain fireballs down upon those you love.

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The ability to become invisible when noone is looking at you.

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The power to bleed anally at will

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The power to have incredible wet orgasms. if you are a man.

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The power to kill yourself

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The power to sound like a 12 year old while playing call of duty

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The power to summon cops to arrest you

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The power to be a woman

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The power to open doors that are already open

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The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

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the power to eat with your butt

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To fly.. into the zone.."Friend zone"

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The power to never be tired, but only when rowing a boat.

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The power to speak any language, but only the ones that aren't spoken in the country that you are in.

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Telekinetic power over styrofoam

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The power to become Santa Clause, but only on the fourth of July.

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to fly simular to a paper air plane. OH SHIT BIRD SHIT COMING IN.

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The power to put your finger in your brain, but doing so kills you and achieves nothing.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!