The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to let someone control your dick

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The power to run light speed only when the world is speed up to light speed

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the power to walk up the stairs without losing your breath...

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The power to have withdrawal symptoms.

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The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The ability to teleport to any place in the universe, but only if it is currently occupied by something else

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You dont HAVE to give my former comment a thumbs ups, I mean why should I care about your opinion and needs etc? Moral: But admit to yourself that it was awesome, or else you are just lying to yourself, doing ya a favor kiddo.

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The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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The power to die whenever you eat any type of food

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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the power to fart the alphebet

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Moral: THUMBS UPS SOLDIER!

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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The power to to think there are images in the clouds.

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Crap out everything you're allergic too

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All of Superman's powers except instead of Kryptonite your weakness is water

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You can have anything you don't want at any time.

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The power to every two months to shoot three cotton balls at no great velocity from your left hand.

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To be able to cut paper by doing the scissor action with your fingers.

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The power to walk on lava but you are not resistant to it

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!