The power to party like it is 1999 despite it being 2011

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to ma-FUK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSY

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The ability to be smarter than the average bear.

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To have a permanently invisible tounge.

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The power to see 147 billion years into the future.

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The power to write a moral under each comment. ( Just a thought: when did most of these become superpowers? I mean is women`s period become superpower? And becoming Justin Beiber? A superpower? I need to change my definition...)

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The ability to taste only from your butt-hole.

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The power to see through womens clothes, but your gay.

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The power to control sloths

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power to have an ejaculate in your pants by looking a girl in the eyes.

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The power to correctly guess how old shag rugs are

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The power to think salmon.

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The power to live,but only when you are dead

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God tier Waste of Space

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the power to know everything even the meaning of life but you can not talk

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The power to turn into a piece of paper for five seconds

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The power to see very far with the eyes closed.

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The abilty to change what your hair smells like every two years

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the power to read whenever somebody is about to make a pun but only if youve already heard that pun

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the ability to fall asleep in your bed and wake up In one of jigsaws rooms

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Taekwondo

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!