Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to sense when infomercials will be on hours before they broadcast.

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the power to smell shit from miles away

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The Power to stick your head up your ass. Aka be a politician.

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The power to start time only when it's on.

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The power to ride a bike

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The power to walk through floors and fall through walls

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The power to say or type random variables withou1 2.96 1 1 2 3 5 8 13t knowing.

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The power to read bladders. You would always know when someone has to pee.

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The power to finish work instantly but only after the deadline

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The power to sing Friday by Rebecca Black perfectly when it's thursday.

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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the power of wanting to download paid games for free and always failing

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The power to only see things that are a shade of orange if the date adds up to a divisor of Pi x enough to make it a whole number, if you are wearing a hat and have recently expeled bodily fluid

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The power to have no one hack your computer as long as you are not using a computer.

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The power to turn into random objects

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The power to eat a core of a pineapple.

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The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

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the ability to make trees grow when you orgasm.

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The power to wake up and live through school....

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the power to fly but your an Altophobic

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The power to transform yourself into a perfect copy of your mother.

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the power to walk on walls but not on the floor

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!