The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

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The power to have your incontinence supplies delivered discretely to your door with little or no cost to you!

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The power to spontaneously break into song only during absolutely tragic moments.

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the power to fart mace

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The power to talk like Batman perfectly, but only at really serious moments.

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The power to become invincible when you're dead

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to change what time it is 1 time per week

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The ability to give yourself brain cancer at will

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The ability to breath, but only in space.

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The power to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

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the superpower to be able to fuck extremely good with or without genitals

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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power to make your saliva taste like a 90 yr old diabetic old man who has tapeworms' poop

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The power to activate all musical instruments at full volume just by going to sleep.

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The power to remember every moment of your suckish life

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the power to engage in prostitution, unless you are a prostitute.

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the power to pull a girl on www.hislag.com

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the power to waste the space in the typing boxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :D

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The power to grow or shrink your height by 6 inches at will, but everytime you do, you grow an extra toe.

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The ability to not read the terms and conditions but still agree to them.

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The power to remember your past failures and all the pain you ever received every time you close your eyes. And you have no appossable thumbs.

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The power to make your hair turn green but only if you are holding green hair dye and when you use the power the green hair dye goes away

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!