The power to stop people from committing suicide just before they do, but only by killing them...

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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the power to see the future...but only the future of a crappy 5 houses town in the middle of nowhere..

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the power to be as dumb as george bush and as useless as barrak obama

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The ability to have a xredit card with no limit but not know the pin

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The power to make grey spots appear on the wall, but only when u are peeing

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

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Ability to not lose excuses when declining a date.

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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the ability to time travel 5 minutes into the past this power recharges every 5 minutes

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The power to exude spaghetti from your pockets, which is never stopped. The spaghetti keeps coming. Out of your pockets. Spaghetti everywhere.

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captain obvious

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The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

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power to be heard only when there are ideas worth listening to

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The power to WATCH ME WHIP AND WATCH ME NAE NAE

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The power to ride a bike

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The power to change the shape of any object at will

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The power of x-ray vision only when you are naked in public. More people the stronger it is.

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The power to have tacos appear in front of you, only to have them stolen by a black guy.

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The power to pee any color

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The power to correct spelling mistakes on road signs

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The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!