THe power to whistle from your butthole but any time you do this your penis shrinks

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The power to turn food into shit.

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power spite flower

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ability to run very fast without stopping forever

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Turning into a brick wall. Forever.

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The power to come back to life just by yelling: I LIVE AGAIN! Or RESURRECTION! (which is not easy when you are dead)

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The ability to read minds by absorbing their mental disorders

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The power to wink with both eyes

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The power to turn into a cat while a dog is watching you.

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The power of your girlfriend's will

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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the power to start a new wave band with a neon Open sign, a single bath salt, and a wet Tibetan ritz cracker.

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The ability to say Chuck Norris is just a piece of shiuiiiiiiifweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem999999999999kkkkkkkkøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøfhiihdddde AND DIE! Chuck Norris.

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The ability to turn traffic lights red in your lane and green for everyone else

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The power to live through torture.

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The power to make every stop sign I see say "Stop HAMMERTIME"

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the ability to type slower.

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The power to transform into Forever Alone guy and not be able to transform back.

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The power to steal other people's pointless superpowers.

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Swiss army teeth.

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The power to sleep

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!